“Go out in the woods, go out. If you don’t go out in the woods nothing will ever happen and your life will never begin.”

for women who just can't be tamed

-Clarissa Pinkola Estés:  Women who Run with Wolves

Phase One: Desire.

Have you ever heard of the Sexual Response Cycle?


Seems pretty basic, but it’s also super important!


We can be experiencing difficulties at any stage of the cycle. This week I want to spend some time going over the different stages, where you can experience trouble, and what we can do about it!


Phase one: Desire. AKA Libido.


Have you ever laid in bed with your partner and just enjoy having their arms around you? “Spooning”, and snuggling? The feeling of their skin against yours feels amazing, doesn’t it? Think back to when you were young, and the first time you ever slept over with a partner, and how sensual it felt. As adults, we have so much responsibility and stress, it can be hard to get that feeling back.

Desire is what motivates us to seek out sexual experiences, and it can be influenced by many different factors. Improving your libido, (when there are no medical issues at play, like medications or hormone issues) is all about learning how to sloooowww down. This is why sensual touch is so effective!


Do you notice that you sometimes feel “prickly” and unreceptive when your partner tries to touch you or hug you? Does it make you tense up and want to push away?


Sometimes that prickly feeling is one that we need to listen to. Sometimes that feeling is telling us “this relationship is not right for me”, and that your emotional needs are not being met… BUT, sometimes it’s just a response to stress or over-stimulation (common if you have small children climbing on you all day!).


Either way, the issues can’t be fixed if they’re not first identified.

That’s why the response cycle is so important to understand. It helps us isolate the issue a little better. Once the issue is identified, we can work on finding solutions for it!


When is the last time you enjoy the feeling of a silk nightie against your skin?

If you want to enhance your level of desire, slow down and get sensual. You have 5 senses, are you using them all? Are you taking time to enjoy smells, tastes, or sensations? Have you taken time to really look at your lovers face, enjoy their smile or their laugh? These are all baby steps to improving your desire!

Visit the shop to find products like the heart massager and Bang Bang! the libido-enhancing essential oil blend, help support a healthy desire phase! <3

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